New Blog!

Dear all,

As a spur-of-the-moment decision, I have changed the site I use for blogging. However, ellynzagoria.blogspot.com will remain available for reading, unless or until I decide to add the below posts to my new site.

For newer posts, please visit my new personal blog at WordPress.

Thanks for reading!

One Heart for Two

Relationships are hard. Breakups are harder. Not only are they gut-wrenching to go through first-hand, but they can also be awful to witness.

The hardest is when both parties are friends of yours. You're stuck between a rock and a hard place, because you don't want to get caught in the middle, but you also can't sit on the sidelines and watch one of your friend's heart break.

Then, there's that awkward situation where someone wants to plan a group outting. What do you do? You don't want to leave one of them out of the fun, but you also don't want everyone to be uncomfortable because they are both there, and they brought along the tension and weirdness that no one wants to acknowledge.

Of course fights are going to flare, and your want to help a friend will overpower your fear of getting stuck in the oh so awkward middle territory. You dish up all of the "it'll be OK" and "give it time, and it will get better" lines you can think of, despite your knowing it won't make your friend feel any better. They continue to cry, and you continue to aimlessly search your brain for something new and helpful to say.

After countless minutes of attempting to calm them in the corner at the bar, trying to relieve them of tears and embarrassment, we all wish they would look up at us, tears running down their flushed cheeks and say, "You're right" -- and that would be that. But, of course not. Unfortunately, you must continue to ignore your other friends while trying to console this one, because you know you'd want someone to be there for you, too.

Breakups can really take a toll on people -- whether you're the one going through it, or the one having to comfort a companion. Despite the stress it may cause, the best thing you can do is just be there for them, and say whatever you think may help - eventually it'll start to sink in. In the end, they'll thank you for it, regardless of whether they listened or took your advice.

Sadly, while this person is balling their eyes out because they lost their better half, the other is out gallivanting with their buddies, enjoying their freedom. Perhaps this is the worst part about breakups? Knowing you, or your friends, are falling apart, while the other is starting anew. But, we all have to face it sometime or another, because unfortunately "when a heart breaks, no it don't break even."

Leading to Something Better

I believe that everything happens for a reason.

When I was 17, and the time came for me to get a job, I got my first real taste of how everything doesn’t always go according to plan.

Two of my closest friends worked at Club Libby Lu – a small boutique located inside the Parisians department store that gave pre-teen girls the chance to get their hair and makeup done, get dressed up and dance in the middle of the store. I desperately wanted to work there so I could spend all of my out-of-school time talking with my two friends, while dressing little girls up like rock stars. I figured, since I was there all the time anyway, that I was a shoe-in.

I thought wrong. I ended up not getting the job, which strangely, made me really upset. It was my first rejection in the job world, but I would soon find out why Libby Lu wasn’t the place for me.

That same day, after being turned down by the place I thought I wanted to work, I was randomly stopped in that same mall in Kennesaw, Ga., and asked if I wanted to work at Hollister – the California-based branch of Abercrombie and Fitch. It turned out they needed extra workers for the holiday season, and 17 was the minimum age they allowed their employees to be.

I applied, got the job and after the holiday season, was hired as a part-time employee. While working there, I ended up making some of the best and closest friends I will probably ever have – all because I needed to blow off some steam and decided to walk around the mall.

I’ve found that the world works in mysterious ways, and I think everyone has to experience its weirdness at some point. Like a quote I often look to says, “Everything happens for a reason. Things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they’re right, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”

Looking back, I like to think my experience at Hollister has helped me become who I am today. While working there, I became more independent, I made friends who gave me a sense of self, and I got to show the goofy and creative, yet hard-working and nitpicky side of me.

Hollister gave me a taste of the real world, before I’d even made it to college. Even though working in retail is no brain surgery, dealing mostly with crazy parents and spoiled teenagers is certainly hard work.

Unfortunately, not everything always goes the way we want it to. It’s important to remember that if something doesn’t work out, it’s because there’s something better waiting for us in the future. I try to remember this truth – and that faithful quote – every time I lose a job, get cut from a team or when one of my relationships falls apart.

It’s strange to think about how different my life would be if I’d gotten the first job I’d ever applied to or if everything else worked out the way I’d hoped the first time around.

I believe that everything happens for a reason, because if it didn’t, we all wouldn’t be who and where we are today.

"Just let the music play."

Music. Something to dance to, something to sing to, something to free your mind; an escape like no other. Without music, whether it be rap, rock, country, pop or blues, the world would be boring. Music brings light from darkness, smiles from blank stares and sound from silence.

The sound of tunes filling the air – the combination of drums, guitars, keyboards and vocals – can stimulate many emotions. Certain songs take you back to certain times and remind you of certain loved, or not so loved, ones. It's funny how a simple melody can do that.

Music can spark memories and even remind you of the way something used to smell. T.I.'s "What You Know 'Bout That" takes me back to spring break my freshman year of college – I can smell the salt from the ocean. The Darkness' "I Believe in a Thing Called Love" takes me back to high school soccer – I can smell grass and, faintly, our uniforms.

It’s a rush when an old song comes on your iPod or radio. As that weird feeling streams through your body, you think to yourself, “Wow. I haven’t heard this song in forever.” Then you turn it up, start to belt out the lyrics that your brain has been trying so hard to remember and let the emotions take over.

What’s more relaxing than sitting in your car, singing the words to your favorite songs? Who cares if you can’t sing well; singing loud can relieve stress and other unwanted emotions.

In the past couple of years, I’ve come to realize something … Music can heal. Music can define. Music can be a way of life.

In the words of JoJo from “Across the Universe,” “Music’s the only thing that makes sense anymore, man. Play it loud enough, it keeps the demons at bay.”

On a side note, isn’t it funny that we always seem to be able to remember words to songs we haven’t listened to in years, but when it comes to remembering important information, say for class or work, it seems to slip our minds?

Sun, Surf and Sand

Knowing we'll get to take a vacation is often what gets us through the work weeks; the idea of getting away from whatever activities normally occupy our attention. That's what vacations are for, right? Taking your mind off the things that run through it from day to day.

And the beach can be the most soothing of places. Soaking up the sun and listening to the waves, while letting your toes sink into the sand. Even when it's chilly, and you have to bundle up in your favorite pair of sweats, the smell of the ocean always seems to make cares and worries disappear.

Because of the carefree feeling I get, it never fails that I lose weight on vacation, despite the ridiculous amounts of food I eat. When I hear the seagulls screeching, the waves crashing and those upbeat calypso tunes, all of my stress seems to melt away. It doesn't get much better than listening to Bob Marley as you watch the salt-watery bubbles creep toward your dry towel.

Everything seems to be a bit more enjoyable during a vacation -- the food, the atmosphere and, more often than not, the weather. Naps on the beach are often the best naps, too. The wind from the ocean, combined with the heat from the sun, usually turns out to be the perfect temperature for a mid-day snooze.

But, sadly, when surrounding yourself with family and friends, and eating as much crab, lobster and shrimp that your tummy can handle, your trip is sure to fly by all too fast. Then we all must head back to reality, whether it be work or school, and build the stress back up so we can melt it off during our vacations to come.

For those who live somewhere that people usually go for vacation, lucky you. I'm sure the sand, surf and sun is no big deal to you, but just know there are some people (like me) who are jealous of your permanently sun-kissed skin and ability to stroll in the sand with a cocktail anytime you wish. But, then again, I've come to accept that it's often better to have the option of leaving after a few days, in order to avoid getting sick of the wonderfulness that is the beach.

When I find myself missing the sandy wonderland, I always look to the lakes and pools of Georgia to bring the fun and melt my stress away. I can just as easily sink my toes in some red, Georgia clay ... or dirt.

So, in the words of the Zac Brown Band, "Put my [butt] in a lawnchair, toes in the clay - not a worry in the world, a PBR on the way. Life is good today. Life is good today."

A Colorful World

Nature is beautiful. During the fall, it brings the countryside engaging colors, pleasing smells and breathtaking scenery.

I love how the leaves choose the day that summer fades into fall (despite the actual calendar day). It's the day the leaves change from greens and browns to oranges, reds and yellows, and when the clouds and fog lightly cover the mountain tops. The day when it becomes a little bit tougher to exercise outside, because the cool air makes it harder on your lungs and muscles.

There are times when I'm walking around outside that I kick myself for not having a camera on me. But when I do, there's no doubt I'll take a million pictures, trying to get the perfect shot of the prettiest trees. My favorites are the ones that are completely covered in vibrant, red leaves, and the ones that are partially yellow and red. Trees like these make a two-hour drive to the mountains or a run around the park more appealing.

Fall air has the best smell, too. Especially after it rains, which it has been a lot lately in Atlanta. The smell reminds me of bonfires, camping trips and holidays of the past, and excites me for those to come.

I find myself trying to get outside as much as I can this time of year, despite my wanting to snuggle up by a fire, because I know that soon winter will be here. Although winter brings beauty of its own, the smell will be completely different, and the leaves will be no more. Plus, I can just snuggle up by a fire then -- when it's too cold to play outside. Hopefully this year the south will actually get some snow. Then maybe we can follow up a colorful autumn with a white winter -- instead of a brown, dead one.

Some feel that beauty is hard to find in ordinary places, but I say you just have to know how to look at it, and distinguish it from the rest.

In the words of Grey Livingston, "Beauty comes as much from the mind as from the eye."

Captain Hook Says it All

After college, most of us venture off into the "real world" and get jobs (or at least try very hard to), but we all know that, when it comes down to it, we'll always be kids at heart. Who honestly doesn't like going to amusement parks or watching cartoons that we used to watch when we were 5?

Growing up isn't easy, but who says you can't return to your childhood every once in a while?

Last night I was flipping through the TV channels and saw that "Aladdin" was on. Excitement built up inside me when I realized it was the classic, 1992 Disney movie, instead of some new, random Aladdin cartoon. I often get the urge to pull out and watch old Disney movies to relieve the stress of trying to find a job in this terrible state of the economy. I still get the fire in my belly to sing every lyric to every song, which of course stay stuck in my head for days after.

Those movies take me back to the days when I had Barbie-themed birthday parties, and the only competition was for who got to be first player on "Mario Brothers" (because everyone knows Mario plays better than Luigi).

Sometimes it's a great feeling forgetting that you have to grow up, become successful and provide for your family. It would be great if there really was a Neverland that we could escape to whenever times get rough -- maybe one without pirates and crocodiles, though.

On a side note, isn't it crazy that instead of playing "I Love Lucy" or "The Andy Griffith Show," Nick at Nite now plays "Malcolm in the Middle" and "Home Improvement?" Thanks Nick at Nite. Way to force me to grow up by telling me all the shows I watched when I was younger belong on the channel the black and white shows used to be on.

So, in the words of Captain Hook, "Growing up is such a barbarous business, full of inconvenience ... and pimples." And I will forever be a kid at heart.